Working with families

A parent who is told their child has been using an app “inappropriately” hears a judgement about their parenting. A parent who is told what was actually seen, by whom, and when, hears a problem they can help with. Describe the behaviour rather than the platform.

Being called into school about something that happened on a phone puts most parents on the back foot. Some will defend the child, some will blame the school, and a few will go home and confiscate everything, which usually makes the situation harder to monitor.

Saying explicitly that the purpose of the conversation is to agree a next step, not to assign blame, changes how the rest of it goes.

Telling a parent to “make sure they don't use it” transfers a problem the school has already found difficult. Be specific about what will be done in school, what the parent can do that will actually work — settings, a shared device, a conversation — and what will be checked next.

Where the behaviour involves pupils messaging each other, both families will want the other child dealt with. Handle the two conversations separately, be clear about what you can and cannot share, and do not let either family set the school's response.

Point them at Get help for anything that needs an organisation to act, and at Parents & Carers for the guidance they can act on themselves.